A visit to Roselawn

So I made two attempts to visit this cemetery. One was a success and one not so much. So I will begin with my first attempt. My roommate was going to go with me Sunday late afternoon but i ended up having to work so we decided to go Monday after she got off work. So on monday by the time we were able to leave it was getting close to sunset, which i was ok with. I thought, oh nice i will be able to watch the sunset, it will be nice... but on our way we get a little lost so by the time we got there it was already dark. But we decided to go in any way so that way i could complete my assignment.  So we drive in and leave our cars parked towards the back. Then we begin to walk around and try to read different tombstones and observe the grave sites (but it was kind of difficult as it was so dark). As we are walking around we notice a huge toe truck that drives in. So a little worried we walk back to our cars and now the toe truck is parked behind us because he can not get by. The big truck driver gets out and begins talking to us and gives us a weird story as to why he is there... So we decide that it probably isn't the best idea to stay in the dark cemetery with a random big truck driver. So we peace out and i decide i will have to complete the assignment in the morning.

So I wake up early the next morning and go to the cemetery and this is how my second visit goes....
It was a beautiful sunny morning. I could feel the light breeze blowing as I walked around. As I reread about the man caring for his dead mothers grave cite on page 21 in A Grief Observed it brings a vivid picture to my head. I could picture this man walking over to a grave cite of his beloved one and caring for it. I could imagine him caring for the grounds upon which she was buried and as he was doing this he would just talk to her. This was his way of “visiting” her and preserving a symbol of her. This might have been his way of dealing with the grief of his loss.

I walked through the cemetery reading different tombstones observing the names and dates. I noticed some lived very long lives almost reaching 100 and some only a few months. Each tombstone/ grave sight was unique in itself; being of all different shapes, sizes, and colors and different writing on each. Some had flowers some did not. Some were so old you could barely read the writing… I let my mind wonder as I observed the different grave cites. I couldn’t help but think of all different types of questions, like wondering what kind of life they lived. For those that lived to be almost 100yr did they feel that they lived life to their fullest or were things still incomplete… why were some lives cut so short?…. As I saw the tombstones of some that died that didn’t even reach the age 20 or some that were only yet a child. I would wonder what happened, did the death/loss hit their family abruptly and unexpected or was it anticipated such as them having an illness (similar to C.S. Lewis’s experience, in Grief Observed). I  also wondered are these grave cites still visited? Are they still remembered or forgotten? What are they remembered for? How long passed until someone stopped coming and replacing flowers?

Fortunately I have not lost anyone extremely close to me. But I could not imagine the feeling and grief I would go through if I were to. I think its hard to truly understand what it was like for C.S. Lewis and the man caring for his mothers grave cite until you have gone through similar things.